The Good News

photo via Christy Stewart

The Gospel is Jesus, the Son of God, living here on earth, dying for our sins, and then raises from the dead. As humans we are born into sin and once we repent God will show us grace and accept us into His family. Then as Christians we try to love God and love others. Most of you reading my blog know this and believe this. That's great! But is that it? Are we really living like we believe the Gospel?

This is something I have been learning about since last December when I was in Haiti. I read a lot more and talked to God a lot more there than I did before and sadly more than I do now. I was reading Ezekiel and saw what our lives look like without God. In Ezekiel 16: 1-14 God tells the prophet how when Israel was born there was no one to take care of her. She was dirty and alone. But God loved her and she become His. Do we ever stop and think of how much of nothing we are? Or about how nothing we do can be good enough for Him and He loves us anyway?

In The Cost of Discipleship Dietrich Bonhoeffer writes, "grace is costly because it calls us to follow, and it is grace because it calls us to follow Jesus Christ. It is costly because it costs a man his life, and it is grace because it gives a man the only true life. It is costly because it condemns sin, and grace because it justifies the sinner. Above all, it is costly because it cost God the life of his Son."

Recently this topic has been coming up again. The sermon series we just finished covered Hosea. God asks Hosea to marry a prostitute to show the people His love towards them. Through His loving discipline He showed grace. Why do we think we can accept God's grace and then go back to living our lives? How can we call ourselves Christians when we keep putting our trust and hope in ourselves?

The start of the journey

The other interns are great! We have been discovering each others' passions and interests. It has been incredible to have people who are going through the same new situations as me and others who remember what it was like when they first got here and can help guide us. 

We have had fun exploring Lafayette together; going to art in the park one night and another time just walking around downtown. We have gone to different small groups together and met new people at Faith. And sometimes we spend a night together just watching Netflix.

I have been thinking through many ways to try and explain what my experiences here have been like so far. At times being on-shift vs. being off-shift can seem like a completely separate life, but I am here to guide the residents through their day and learn about biblical counseling. I guess I can explain it by saying in every situation I am reminded of God's Truth and His love for us.

More stories to come...but I wanted to check in with you and say thank you for your prayers towards this next year!

The Next Chapter

Four months of living back in the states, it's time for another transition right? This weekend I will be moving to Lafayette, IN.

I'll start at the beginning...my friend, Ashlen, was reading Jesus Feminist by Sarah Bessey. In the book Bessey writes about a women's rehabilitation center called Mercy Ministries. Ashlen knew that after getting back I was now interested in counseling women and in particular at a place where we all lived together and the help could be in every aspect of their lives. So she texted me and I looked up Mercy Ministries. I found they have a house in St. Louis. I read more about them a decided to apply. For no reason at all I Googled to see if there were anymore houses like this and I found Vision of Hope in Lafayette. I applied there too.

I received a response from VOH and after some phone interviews went up for a shadow weekend to see how everything ran. I loved everything I saw and everyone I met. While I was there I got a call from Mercy and set up a phone interview with them later that week. After talking with friends and praying about it I decided to take the position at VOH.

"Vision of Hope is a faith based residential treatment center whose staff and program focus on applying love, practical solutions from God's Word to help produce permanent and lasting change in women whose lives have been characterized by negative, life-dominating habits."

You can read more about VOH and watch testimonial videos here.

I will be escorting the residents from meals to classes, overseeing their volunteering at the church and community center, and going through counseling training. Since my shifts are about four hours I will have some free time. I am excited to get involved in the Lafayette community. When I was visiting I heard about some ways people are helping in the homeless cimmunity, one of the girls working at VOH is on a volleyball team, and I'm hoping to go to Thursday night meetings at Purdue's Campus House.

The next two weeks are training; afterwards I can post again and share how it's all going.  

Caribbean Cruise

Carnival.com

Last week I went on my first cruise with my parents, sister, aunt, uncle, two cousins, and one of their girlfriends. I was excited to be leaving the country again and to see more of the world. I tried to prepare myself for the tourist mindset instead of the missionary. Overall it was a great trip. The weather was perfect. We didn't have problems with luggage. It was mostly what I expected; laying out in the sun, snorkeling in the ocean, and watching shows on the ship. 

My favorite port was Belize City. For a couple of reasons: it reminded me a lot of Haiti and my sister, Hannah, and I took a tour by ourselves to explore some of the Mayan ruins. We took a two hour bus ride to the ruins so we saw a lot of Belize and our tour guide shared a lot of information. Because it did look so similar to Haiti I think it was hard for me to be okay with being a tourist but our guide told us tourism is their biggest form of revenue and she loved us being there, taking pictures and telling our friends about it. So that made me feel better.

In Cozumel and Roatan we found beautiful beaches to relax on and at Grand Cayman the nine of us went snorkeling over a sunken ship, fed stingrays, and played with starfish. This vacation was filled with many things I had never done before and I loved that I got to experience these countries with my family. I'm glad I got to go some places by myself first though because after seeing how everyone drives I don't know if my mom would have let me leave America :) 

Six books that changed my life

In response to my amazingly talented author friend, Nadine, I am sharing what six books or series (because who really could just choose six) have changed the way I think.

My first two are on her list as well because she is the one who recommended them to me.

Blood of Kings Trilogy by Jill Williamson
All three books are filled with adventures and twists. I was so glad I couldn't predict what was going to happen next. These books are Christian but it's not in your face. When one of the main characters comes to hear the truth I was able to understand what the darkness is in this world that I need help overcoming.

The Lunar Chronicles by Marrisa Meyer
There are three books of four out so far. I confess I have only read the first two, Cinder and Scarlet. I was a skeptic. I don't read a lot/any Sci-fi and I know the story of Cinderella, but I always listen to Nadine when it comes to books. I was telling another friend about Cinder and in the story instead of her shoe falling off her foot does instead. My friend gave me the weirdest look and I realized I forgot to tell her that Cinder was half cyborg. After I explained this she went to the library and checked it out herself.

The Circle Series by Ted Dekker
Also his Showdown series and every other series that connects these characters. It's genius. A lot happens in these books going back and forth between two worlds, but the thing that had the most impact on me was Dekker's description of God's love and his pursuit of us. How easy it is to be deceived and how many times God forgives.

Blessed Child by Ted Dekker
This "blessed child", Caleb, can see the Kingdom of God! Not in the future, on earth, right now. When I finished with this book I was filled with joy. God is real and he is doing stuff all around us all the time. Sometimes we need books like this to remind us to open our eyes.

Through Painted Desserts by Donald Miller
This isn't one of his popular books but I was challenged through it. The book is about his road trip with a friend from Texas to Oregon. In the beginning he writes about how everyone must leave home. I go back to that when I am making decisions about my future. Home is safe and comfortable but, taking a phrase from another one of his books, every good story has an inciting incident. For you that may be at home. But for me, my good story is made when I say yes even without all the details of how said adventure will end up.

A Time to Die by Nadine Brandes
It is not like any other book because; Parvin is the hero because she is afraid of things, and she doesn't come out of everything unharmed, and she is learning just like the rest of us what God intended for this world. I am excited to re-read this book after the edits are complete and it is published. I am excited to tell everyone I know about it and I can't wait for the next two!    

Guest Post: Hannah

Guest post usually means another blogger shares on a blog to get their name out there to more people. Well my sister, Hannah, isn't a blogger herself. She wrote a prayer after listening to Love in Shadows last semester at Campus House. She gave me permission to post it here hopefully to help remind others how we should be seeking God. 

My Lord,

            What if “I” never spoke again...I being me, my identity, my own thoughts and opinions. What if I let you speak through me? What if every time a word came out of my mouth it was yours, Jesus? I would never say the wrong thing ever again, never have to apologize or cover up by saying, ‘Just kidding’ after seeing in their face how my words hurt them. I could speak up when I feel convicted, instead of staying silent, as usual. The words coming out of my mouth could still offend people, but at least they would be spoken in love and through the intention of letting you God speak through me. What if I surrendered so that God could use my tongue for Your glory alone?

            This is scary because this means I can no longer take credit for my knowledgeable words, or funny comments. I lose the “I” part of my identity, it’s just one letter, but it has great meaning and it holds great importance in our society. What if I lose that? What do I gain by not using my words, just the ones God, you put in my mouth to say? If we are going to accomplish this I have to be intentional everyday to die to myself in this way, asking myself every morning, What if “I” never spoke again?

            It’s also scary to think that this is giving control of my tongue over to You; controlling my tongue is hard enough, but giving that control over to You every second of every day is even harder to imagine. This is the whole reason I am writing right now, because if I was in control I would be sleeping or watching TV or even doing homework, intentionally saying, ‘No’ to You. And I don’t want to do that either.

            This is one way I can live in the shadows well. By eliminating “I” from my identity. By eliminating “I” from every word I say, and letting You show Your Love through my life. First Corinthians 13:1-3 from the Message Bible says it quite nicely,

“If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.

If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.

If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere.”

I want to live in the shadows because Your shadow Jesus proves the sunshine of our Father. You block the fierceness of His great light so that I can stand in full surrender in the cool of Your shadow. I want to sing and sing to You, every song that tells you I give You control. “Lift my Life Up”, “Proof of Your Love”, “Speak Life”, “The Shadow Proves the Sunshine”, “White as Snow”, “Love take me Over”, “Oceans”… I love You Lord.

Amen

Trusting God

Psalm 62:8 trust in him at all times ye people, pour out your heart before him.

During my time in Haiti I learned a little more about what it looks like to trust God in every situation. One Thursday night I read Acts 10 where Peter is called to Cornelis's house. He obeys God, goes and speaks. I felt like Peter. Just go with the flow because God says go. The next morning I was told we are going to church. I still don't know what was special about that day that we decided to have church. 

We sang, someone gave a message and, we read Psalm 104 and 37. In these chapters God says don't fret, trust him, he will provide everything. Later that evening when I was recording in my journal what had happened that day I wrote, "All I did today was worship. I have the best job." 

Around four months of being in Haiti I wrote this, "Because I have surrounded I have peace. I do have worries, but not that you [God] won't work everything out. I worry mostly about the outcome of everything you work out for your plan. But I have no other choice but to obey. It is the best way. And obeying right now means just going with it and trusting you will speak through me. The way you work is amusing to me. It's because it's the craziest way to do it that I know you are the one in control."