Why I love Jesus

I am blessed by the ladies I work with! This week one of them shared with me what she is learning in her devotions. She wrote me a note of why she loves Jesus today, with scripture to back up each item. She said, "I feel like I've fallen in love with Jesus all over again. It is like rediscovering the most beautiful, passionate relationship there is to man. When you start looking for reasons why you love Jesus you won't be able to stop seeing it." Now we are constantly seeing blessings instead of things that are just not working out our way.

Our list is…

2 Samuel 22:47 Our God lives!

The beautiful reminder that our sins have been washed white as the snow outside
2 Samuel 22:31 God can be trusted
Ephesians 1:4-5 Before creation God chose us to be His daughters
Romans 8:15 We don’t have to fall back into fear
Romans 8:31-39 Nothing can separate us from Him
1 Corinthians 6:20 He paid the cost for us
He cast our sins as far as the east is from the west
He is infallible and He thinks of everything
We deserve Hell and there is nothing good in us
Christ goes before us
Galatians 2:20 He was crucified for me
Isaiah 26:3-4 He is trustworthy, perfect peace, and everlasting rock
2 Chronicles 20:12 He can fix our eyes on Him and He will overcome
God is always good and I am always loved
Deuteronomy 6:4-5 He is the one true God
Laminations 3:23 He is faithful
He loves me because He loves me
We are surrounded by people who love us
John 1:14-16 We have received gift upon gift
He is out pursuer
He is all we need
Psalm 16:2 The is no good but God
He created us with enough understanding to accept His love
Jeremiah 32:17 Nothing is too hard for Him
We can cast our cares on Him
Genesis 16:13-14 He is omniscient and is in total control over all things
I am constantly made aware of how messed up I am and how good He is
The sunrise this morning
The Gospel is why we love, why we have peace, and why we can choose joy

Guest Post: Hannah

Guest post usually means another blogger shares on a blog to get their name out there to more people. Well my sister, Hannah, isn't a blogger herself. She wrote a prayer after listening to Love in Shadows last semester at Campus House. She gave me permission to post it here hopefully to help remind others how we should be seeking God. 

My Lord,

            What if “I” never spoke again...I being me, my identity, my own thoughts and opinions. What if I let you speak through me? What if every time a word came out of my mouth it was yours, Jesus? I would never say the wrong thing ever again, never have to apologize or cover up by saying, ‘Just kidding’ after seeing in their face how my words hurt them. I could speak up when I feel convicted, instead of staying silent, as usual. The words coming out of my mouth could still offend people, but at least they would be spoken in love and through the intention of letting you God speak through me. What if I surrendered so that God could use my tongue for Your glory alone?

            This is scary because this means I can no longer take credit for my knowledgeable words, or funny comments. I lose the “I” part of my identity, it’s just one letter, but it has great meaning and it holds great importance in our society. What if I lose that? What do I gain by not using my words, just the ones God, you put in my mouth to say? If we are going to accomplish this I have to be intentional everyday to die to myself in this way, asking myself every morning, What if “I” never spoke again?

            It’s also scary to think that this is giving control of my tongue over to You; controlling my tongue is hard enough, but giving that control over to You every second of every day is even harder to imagine. This is the whole reason I am writing right now, because if I was in control I would be sleeping or watching TV or even doing homework, intentionally saying, ‘No’ to You. And I don’t want to do that either.

            This is one way I can live in the shadows well. By eliminating “I” from my identity. By eliminating “I” from every word I say, and letting You show Your Love through my life. First Corinthians 13:1-3 from the Message Bible says it quite nicely,

“If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.

If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.

If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere.”

I want to live in the shadows because Your shadow Jesus proves the sunshine of our Father. You block the fierceness of His great light so that I can stand in full surrender in the cool of Your shadow. I want to sing and sing to You, every song that tells you I give You control. “Lift my Life Up”, “Proof of Your Love”, “Speak Life”, “The Shadow Proves the Sunshine”, “White as Snow”, “Love take me Over”, “Oceans”… I love You Lord.

Amen

Trusting God

Psalm 62:8 trust in him at all times ye people, pour out your heart before him.

During my time in Haiti I learned a little more about what it looks like to trust God in every situation. One Thursday night I read Acts 10 where Peter is called to Cornelis's house. He obeys God, goes and speaks. I felt like Peter. Just go with the flow because God says go. The next morning I was told we are going to church. I still don't know what was special about that day that we decided to have church. 

We sang, someone gave a message and, we read Psalm 104 and 37. In these chapters God says don't fret, trust him, he will provide everything. Later that evening when I was recording in my journal what had happened that day I wrote, "All I did today was worship. I have the best job." 

Around four months of being in Haiti I wrote this, "Because I have surrounded I have peace. I do have worries, but not that you [God] won't work everything out. I worry mostly about the outcome of everything you work out for your plan. But I have no other choice but to obey. It is the best way. And obeying right now means just going with it and trusting you will speak through me. The way you work is amusing to me. It's because it's the craziest way to do it that I know you are the one in control."

Celebrating the New Year

New Year’s Eve there was a night service at church. We arrived around 9pm. We alternated between singing and someone sharing what God did in their life in 2013. At five minutes to midnight we sang and praised God to ring in the New Year. We exchanged hugs and said, “Bonne Année.” Then for two more hours people shared what God did in 2013. It was a good time of remembrance and celebration looking towards the future. I got up and spoke, telling everyone I am thankful God called me to Haiti at this time and thankful to everyone who welcomed me like part of the family.

New Year’s Day is also Haitian Independence Day. There was a slave revolution and in 1804 Haiti became the first black republic. The French settlers and slave owners apparently ate a lot of pumpkin soup. The first thing the slaves did after declaring independence was eat pumpkin soup. Now every year all over Haiti that is what is eaten to celebrate Independence Day. It’s delicious. It is a pumpkin broth with potatoes, carrots, cabbage, and other vegetables.

Early Mornings

"Some people associate Sunday morning with God. One of the things I associate with God is a sunrise." -Donald Miller, Through Painted Deserts

The entire time I have been here in Haiti I have not once set an alarm to wake up in the morning. I have just woken up at 5; it’s not because of the noise or the sun shining in my window; somehow I wake up to spend time with God before the day starts.

This morning I woke up and was grabbing my Bible and journal when there was a knock on my door. This is very unusual especially at 5am. The only other time they have had to knock was around 7am one day when we were going to church and I didn’t know it. I opened the door and there stood Carline ready to go to Mirebalais. I quickly put on my skirt, put my laptop in my bag, and followed her out the door.

Let me back up a few days… we usually leave for Mirebalais after church on Sunday. So I packed my bag Saturday night. But yesterday, November 18^th, was a National Holiday. It was the anniversary of the Battle ofVertières, so there was no school. Sunday night Carline told me we would be going to Mirebalais around noon on Monday. Noon came and we couldn’t go because public transportation was taking the day off too. She didn’t tell me we would be leaving to get there before school started Tuesday morning but when I saw her at my door I knew.

As I was following her up the stairs, in the dark, to the street I thought about how I wouldn’t be starting my day reading the Bible and was worried how I could be ok. Then I thought, I get to see the sunrise! As we rode I worshiped God while watching the sunrise above the mountains and we got to Loving Hearts at 7am, an hour before school starts.

(Sorry I didn't take any pictures)





Worshiping Together

When the electricity comes on a night it is a celebration. The lights flicker once or twice and then stay on for several hours. We say, “Wé”, “Mesi, Jezi” and “Halleluiah.” Then we plug in our phones to charge and set up our chairs in front of the TV to see what is on for the night. But if it starts getting dark and the lights haven’t come on yet someone will get the oil lamp, light it, and set it on the table. Last night was one of those nights. We were sitting in the dining room with Ronika and Abed running around getting out energy before it was time for bed. Abed lifts his hands and says, “Halleluiah”. At least that’s what we think he says. He is only 16 months old. Asmene, his mom, starts singing “Broken Halleluiah”. Since it’s in English I join in, but neither of us know all the words so when we finish we look at Abed and he raises his hands and wants us to sing again. And again. And again.

As we were singing I was thinking how awesome it was to be worshiping God together. Because we are all God’s children. He doesn’t just love me because I came here. He doesn’t just love the ones who do all the right things and have all the right answers. He doesn’t just love the ones who have an eventful, redeeming story. He loves all of us. He loved us all before we did anything, before we had a story to tell. Sometimes having electricity can hinder these moments.  

Prayers: Because of your prayers I am able to sleep at night even though it is noisy, I am safe, I am healthy, I am learning Creole, I am willing and don't get too embarrassed when asked to do something out of my comfort zone, I am the closest I have ever been with God, and I have a desire to pray for others. Thank you.

Welcome to the Garden

Last night we had a garden party at DIG! We had Christmas lights draped from the ceiling and small tables set up for students to sit around. Some of the girls helped me bake Oreo cheesecake, lemon bars, and pinwheels.  We had cans of pop for students to enjoy. Some other girls helped serve Common Meal. One of our students read the creation story during the beginning praise. We wanted to create a beautiful, fun atmosphere for people to enter into the story because God did not only show grace at the cross but also in the beginning in the garden. He showed grace in the undeserved love he showed us. Brad shared a quote from N.T. Wright, “One of the central elements of the Christian story is the claim that the paradox of laughter and tears, woven as it is deep into the heart of all human experience, is woven also deep into the heart of God.” In both joyful laughter and painful tears we can see remnants of the garden. Through tears we see the way things were not intended to be. Contrary, through laughter we glimpse a piece of the perfect creation.

Haiti

"I don't want to glance over poverty because I have seen it before. I don't want to overlook those I encounter because I think I already understand. I don't want to ignore what is right in front of my face because I feel like they hold lessons I've already learned." -Alece

This was my fourth trip to the Northwest Haiti Christian Mission in Saint Louis du Nord, Haiti. The Northwest is the poorest region in Haiti; I saw this more this time than any other trip. Our team of 15 people traveled six hours by school bus from Port au Prince to Saint Louis. We arrived around 10:00 at night. We blew up air mattresses and found sheets and pillows while trying not to wake everyone else that were already in bed. When we took our second flight into Haiti the plane was full so we had to check our second carry on at the door. We didn’t see those bags again until Saturday, the seventh day of the trip. God taught us all many things from not having everything we thought we would need for the trip. A few of us had all their things so we shared and did laundry frequently. Not many teams can come back saying they went shopping at a Haitian market for underwear.

I was worried and didn’t want to put too much expectation on seeing some of the Haitians I had met last year. A lot of the interpreters only work for one summer or just a few weeks at a time. Anything could happen in a year since I last saw the boys who stand outside the mission selling bracelets. I was so excited when I saw Rodlen. He came up and gave me a hug when I was playing with some younger kids in the nutrition program. He told me he got to attend school this past year and I noticed he had on a lot nicer clothes on. I didn’t see him for the next couple of days and the other boys said he was sick. But he came running up to me again when we were watching the soccer game.

Every afternoon at the church across the street the mission teaches an English class. A few of our girls went every day. I went once to the beginner class and once to the advanced. In the beginner class we were paired up and helped our partner read through a children’s book. We then asked them to retell us the story to make sure they understood what they were reading. In the advanced class they have been reading through “Hatchet”. Melissa, the teacher, wrote out vocabulary and explained each word. It put in perspective for me how hard it is to explain the meaning of words we use all the time. I was partnered with Tony. He was a really good reader and when Melissa asked a question I was proud of him for the answer he gave. I talked with a few of the other guys as well, Sonny and Taylor. Some of the interpreters for the mission grow up going to an English speaking school but these guys are taking this class so that hopefully soon they can start working at the mission.

At the mission we have devos in the morning and at night. Some of the guys and girls from our team lead worship every night. I don’t think if I can describe the difference between worshiping staring at the mountains with the wind blowing compared to standing in straight rows, inside, staring at the words to the songs on the screen. It was incredible.

My Bible was in my second carry on. I couldn’t use my phone for any sort of daily Bible reading. Even being on a mission trip where the point is to commune with God all day and with devos twice a day I wanted more than anything to be in God’s Word. This past year I went through the James Bible study by Beth Moore. I memorized James 1 so for seven days that was the Word of God that I had and I can’t even count how many times I repeated it.

When people talk about mission trips, and changing the world, and sharing the gospel, and giving to the poor, the glorified stories that come are about relationships made and kids held but there are things that happen behind the scenes that make all of that possible. A few days we stayed at the mission and did projects they needed to get done. The church across the street needed to be repainted. First though the current paint had to be scraped off the concrete walls. When you sign up to go to Haiti this isn’t one of the things you picture yourself doing, but our team had good attitudes and started scraping. After about two hours there were 15 eyelevel, about 2’x2’ patches of exposed concrete on the brown walls. Each team worked on the church while we were there and by the end of the summer the teams will be able to start painting.

The grocery ministry is when you go to the market and buy a bag of groceries, pick a house at random and ask if they need groceries today, then ask if you can pray with them. We bought three bags and had passed out the first two. We arrived at an intersection in the road. Someone yelled out left so we turned and stopped at the first house we came to. I figured this house got stopped at a lot and we should go down further down the road but the woman told us she was the grandmother of the house. Her daughter travels an hour one-way to work every day. The grandmother takes care of the kids at home. She told us how the day before someone had stolen her money so she couldn’t buy food for the day. All they had eaten was the fruit growing from the tree in their yard.

 The brothel in Saint Louis is walking distance from the mission. The girls on our team went and met the women in the common area with their kids. I shared a story from 2 Kings 11. I wanted to share a story about a woman who followed God but is also lesser known. Even growing up in church I don’t remember hearing any stories about Jehosheba. She saved the heir to the Israelite kingdom. She didn’t have any power in the kingdom but knew that the boy needed to be protected. We may not think we can do great things or we are beautiful but when we think those things it breaks God’s heart because we are his daughters and he calls us beautiful and created us to do great things. A team went to the brothel every day and on our final day we invited the women to the mission for a Princess Party. We decorated the chapel and had cookies and muffins. The women received jewelry and decorated crowns. More teams shared what it means to be daughters of the King. I think the women really enjoyed it.

The Neighbor’s Project is where a church in America partners with a church in Haiti. A group from a church in Fredericksburg, VA traveled to the church in Berger, Haiti every day. I had the opportunity to join them for two days. The church in Berger is a tarp attached to the pastor’s house held up by bamboo poles. The group from VA was able to provide a tin roof for the church. Amazingly, maybe for the first time in history, the roof was on before church on Sunday. After Sunday service the team brought water purifying systems to pass out to twelve families. They were so easy to use I was able to help pass them out and show how to use them.

A lot of the times when we show up at a church a lot of young kids come to hear a Bible story and receive a snack. In Berger we had the chance to talk with the teens on a deeper level and gave them a change for them to ask us questions. It was encouraging to see so many show up and have questions for us.

We traveled to Anse a Foleur, where the voodoo temple is. The Haitians who worship at the temple believe in the God we know but also offer sacrifices to spirits they believe protect, heal, and seek revenge on their behalf. We view the temple and walk to the monument to pray for the one true God and truth to be revealed to these people.

On our last day we went Hut to Hut asking if we could talk with and pray for people. Our whole team went which can be intimidating so a few of us stood back at each house. At one house I was standing back from a man from a neighboring house came out and asked what we were doing. We told him and he told us his name was Gin asked if we could pray for him. Of course! He invited us into his home and introduced us to his wife, Finel, and new baby, Jaylen. After we finished praying we put TOMS on Jaylen’s feet. Haiti received 100,000 pairs of TOMS and 30,000 went to Northwest Haiti Christian Mission. My backpack was full of little kids shoes we were able to deliver to many families that day.

We were supposed to arrive back in America around midnight Thursday morning. God had other plans. Our plane from Port de Paix to Port au Prince was late so we missed our flight from Port au Prince to Newark. This isn’t the first time anyone has been delayed in Haiti; we were in good hands with the mission. They knew what hotel to take us to and bought us hamburgers and French fries for dinner. We stayed at Coconut Villa. I was surprised at how nice it was. They had a pool to swim in! I saw a lot more of Port au Prince than I had ever seen before. Contrasted with the Northwest region, everyone living in the capital looks like they are living the “good life” even though they are poorer than both you and I.  

Haiti update

There has been some exciting news posted on Facebook that I thought I would share with you today. Melonnie is one of the full-time missionaries at Northwest. She does Bible studies at the prison in Port -de-Paix and several brothels in Port-de-Paix and La Pointe. The the past few weeks 114 men and women who have listed to these Bible studies for the past two years have decided to follow God in baptism. This past week there were no more girls working at the brothel in La Pointe so the owner has decide to turn it into a restaurant. Meonnie still plans on doing Bible studies there every week.

Spring Break part 2

We are home and back to work and school.

In Tennessee, God's creation was beautiful and the weather was perfect. The most repeated things students keep saying is how awesome it was that they could be themselves on this trip and were accepted. So many friendships were made this past week. I pray they continue and spread to others in our community.

At the beginning of our trip on Sunday morning we went to Crossings in Knoxville. Caleb taught on the book of Luke. Mark and Caleb came during the week and taught through the book of Nehemiah. I learned a lot and thought I would share a thought from my notes with you.

On Sunday I heard a parable I have heard probably a hundred times (and you probably have too), but this time I heard something differently. Luke 19:11- 24 says,
And as they heard these things, he added and spake a parable, because he was nigh to Jerusalem, and because they thought that the kingdom of God should immediately appear. He said therefore, A certain nobleman went into a far country to receive for himself a kingdom, and to return. And he called his ten servants, and delivered them ten pounds, and said unto them, Occupy till I come. But his citizens hated him, and sent a message after him, saying, We will not have this man to reign over us. And it came to pass, that when he was returned, having received the kingdom, then he commanded these servants to be called unto him, to whom he had given the money, that he might know how much every man had gained by trading. Then came the first, saying, Lord, thy pound hath gained ten pounds. And he said unto him, Well, thou good servant: because thou hast been faithful in a very little, have thou authority over ten cities. And the second came, saying, Lord, thy pound hath gained five pounds. And he said likewise to him, Be thou also over five cities. And another came, saying, Lord, behold, here is thy pound, which I have kept laid up in a napkin: For I feared thee, because thou art an austere man: thou takest up that thou layedst not down, and reapest that thou didst not sow. And he saith unto him, Out of thine own mouth will I judge thee, thou wicked servant. Thou knewest that I was an austere man, taking up that I laid not down, and reaping that I did not sow: Wherefore then gavest not thou my money into the bank, that at my coming I might have required mine own with usury? And he said unto them that stood by, Take from him the pound, and give it to him that hath ten pounds.

By investing the money, the first and second servant were telling their master, the nobleman, they believe he will become king and they want him to become king. Because if he hadn't become king the servants would have lost the money. This isn't just a story about how to invest what God has given you. Jesus wants to know if you will risk everything and bet on him. Do you have the courage to risk what God has given you?

Here are a few picture from the trip...


Hiking to Chimny Tops



Just Dance



Knoxville

So my soul longeth after thee

          
             Today for lunch I left the Campus House and headed to Lions Lake. I got in my car and it said the outside temperature was 100°. But I was determined to eat outside and enjoy the beauty of God’s creation. I drove around the lake and saw some benches but they were in the sun so I decided to park and sit at a picnic table under a shelter. There were several geese who wanted to enjoy the shade of the shelter as well. Again though, nothing was going to deter me. I ate my sandwich and chips rather quickly keeping an eye on the closely approaching geese. There is a trail through the woods that I had taken before with a few friends. I decided to eat my apple as I walked.

           

              As I walked I talked with God. I told Him how beautiful everything was and how thankful for where He has brought me in life. I just wanted to tell Him so much more, it was over pouring but I didn’t feel like I had the sufficient words. So I stopped. I told God I was sorry I kept talking when I should be listening. Not a minute later I heard the leaves rustle to my left. I looked up and there were two deer. I froze and stared at them. They stared back at me. I stood there for a long time just watching them until this guy came by riding on his bike. I probably looked pretty strange just eating my apple staring out into the trees.

            Do you have a specific animal or experience that you know when you see it God showed up just for you? That for me is deer. And this time God was telling me, “Megan, you’re right, you need to shut up. You do a great job listening to everyone else, now you need to listen to what I have to say.”  

Pray and Seek

I would like to say I have a good prayer life. It’s one of the things we as Christians measure ourselves against. Do I pray enough? But in reality my prayers consisted mostly of things that were going on in my life. I would thank God for things and pray for others when need be but mostly I would pray for God to fix the things that were making my life uncomfortable.

Recently I have discovered that writing my prayers down helps me stay focused on what I am talking to God about and I can look back and see that he has answered my prayers when I forgot that I prayed them. This has also helped me in praying for others. Instead of asking God to bless this person and this person I write down specifically what they need prayer for.

One of my goals as a staff intern and hopefully for the rest of my life is to pray and seek before acting. I don’t want to think because I am in the ministry anything I do that is right is what God wants me to be doing.

This past week being able to spend time sharing life with a few girls has been incredible! I just want to be in a constant conversation with God about what he is doing in the lives of these students. There are so many things to pray for. I don’t know where to start or where to end. It’s not just a list of things I need God to do for me either. Its thanksgivings and more than any time I can remember I want to pray more for others than myself. I have been telling God all this week, “In all I could do to praise you it would not be enough.”