Guest Post: Hannah

Guest post usually means another blogger shares on a blog to get their name out there to more people. Well my sister, Hannah, isn't a blogger herself. She wrote a prayer after listening to Love in Shadows last semester at Campus House. She gave me permission to post it here hopefully to help remind others how we should be seeking God. 

My Lord,

            What if “I” never spoke again...I being me, my identity, my own thoughts and opinions. What if I let you speak through me? What if every time a word came out of my mouth it was yours, Jesus? I would never say the wrong thing ever again, never have to apologize or cover up by saying, ‘Just kidding’ after seeing in their face how my words hurt them. I could speak up when I feel convicted, instead of staying silent, as usual. The words coming out of my mouth could still offend people, but at least they would be spoken in love and through the intention of letting you God speak through me. What if I surrendered so that God could use my tongue for Your glory alone?

            This is scary because this means I can no longer take credit for my knowledgeable words, or funny comments. I lose the “I” part of my identity, it’s just one letter, but it has great meaning and it holds great importance in our society. What if I lose that? What do I gain by not using my words, just the ones God, you put in my mouth to say? If we are going to accomplish this I have to be intentional everyday to die to myself in this way, asking myself every morning, What if “I” never spoke again?

            It’s also scary to think that this is giving control of my tongue over to You; controlling my tongue is hard enough, but giving that control over to You every second of every day is even harder to imagine. This is the whole reason I am writing right now, because if I was in control I would be sleeping or watching TV or even doing homework, intentionally saying, ‘No’ to You. And I don’t want to do that either.

            This is one way I can live in the shadows well. By eliminating “I” from my identity. By eliminating “I” from every word I say, and letting You show Your Love through my life. First Corinthians 13:1-3 from the Message Bible says it quite nicely,

“If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.

If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.

If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere.”

I want to live in the shadows because Your shadow Jesus proves the sunshine of our Father. You block the fierceness of His great light so that I can stand in full surrender in the cool of Your shadow. I want to sing and sing to You, every song that tells you I give You control. “Lift my Life Up”, “Proof of Your Love”, “Speak Life”, “The Shadow Proves the Sunshine”, “White as Snow”, “Love take me Over”, “Oceans”… I love You Lord.

Amen

Trusting God

Psalm 62:8 trust in him at all times ye people, pour out your heart before him.

During my time in Haiti I learned a little more about what it looks like to trust God in every situation. One Thursday night I read Acts 10 where Peter is called to Cornelis's house. He obeys God, goes and speaks. I felt like Peter. Just go with the flow because God says go. The next morning I was told we are going to church. I still don't know what was special about that day that we decided to have church. 

We sang, someone gave a message and, we read Psalm 104 and 37. In these chapters God says don't fret, trust him, he will provide everything. Later that evening when I was recording in my journal what had happened that day I wrote, "All I did today was worship. I have the best job." 

Around four months of being in Haiti I wrote this, "Because I have surrounded I have peace. I do have worries, but not that you [God] won't work everything out. I worry mostly about the outcome of everything you work out for your plan. But I have no other choice but to obey. It is the best way. And obeying right now means just going with it and trusting you will speak through me. The way you work is amusing to me. It's because it's the craziest way to do it that I know you are the one in control."